i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
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It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
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You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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