Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
