On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
