i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
