I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
