I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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