I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
