I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize