what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize