Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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