using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
