what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize