My vagina just recognized that song.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
