This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
The ass gains better be worth it
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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