doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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