I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
