Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
