i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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