I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
