I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
