theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
