Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
