So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
