Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
