have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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