i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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