im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
