Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Randomize
