marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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