so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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