idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
