what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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