I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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