I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
This is the high leading the old right now
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
