soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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