I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
