It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
