A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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