Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
