Are we in a gay sports bar?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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