Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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