I must be too annoying 4 u.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
