if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
