I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
