Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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