i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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