you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
