dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
