yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
