Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
