my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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