Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize