Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
