Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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