im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize