At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
