I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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