it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm so fucking centered right now
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
