Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
