Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Girls should come with a carfax report
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The air was thick with penises
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
