One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You pole danced in your parka.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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