Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Where is the hickey?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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