Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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