i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Randomize
