My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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