Fuck appropriateness.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
