I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
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Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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