I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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