I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
one two three fourrrrnication!
i can't believe i had my finger in that
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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