I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
