We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
