youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
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Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
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He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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