fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
