i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
