that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
